I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
