fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
