Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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