there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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