just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
