Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
