***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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