As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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