dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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