are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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