I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
