Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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