chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
