woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she looked like the before picture.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
