Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
