just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
