Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
