All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
