They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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