No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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