I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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