I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think my tv is drunk
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
