My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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