No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
