Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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