just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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