You can't motorboat a personality
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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