I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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