My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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