I cockslap morals
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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