I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
