I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
