yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Quick, to the slutcave!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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