He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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