She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
