I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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