I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
