3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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