Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
