great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
