She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
