But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
