It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
