He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
