oh god the rape fog is back!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
