I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
