thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
