i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
