is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
