She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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