i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
