So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
