yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
