Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW

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  (408): the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW http://tfl.nu/xrjr
  Replies (9) Good night (895) Bad night (2311)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!

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  (775): What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS? (1-775): A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass! http://tfl.nu/lvgp
  Replies (16) Good night (1812) Bad night (2618)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Do you think there is vodka in heaven?

  (619): View more from California

  you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity

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  (858): Do you think there is vodka in heaven? (619): you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity http://tfl.nu/y8gk
  Replies (81) Good night (4301) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.

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  (812): sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city. http://tfl.nu/nl67
  Replies (49) Good night (1101) Bad night (3420)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.

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  (847): i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house. (1-847): that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect. http://tfl.nu/7r4g
  Replies (25) Good night (8143) Bad night (1090)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.

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  (512): After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game. http://tfl.nu/rksq
  Replies (8) Good night (3612) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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  (646): I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot. http://tfl.nu/r2lr
  Replies (17) Good night (6520) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you

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  (740): Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you http://tfl.nu/m5id
  Replies (2) Good night (2174) Bad night (953)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?

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  (815): Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train? http://tfl.nu/kbte
  Replies (3) Good night (1158) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.

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  (607): Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night. http://tfl.nu/v41h
  Replies (6) Good night (2439) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.

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  (413): She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker. (1-413): That's effing brilliant. We should start a business. http://tfl.nu/l4ou
  Replies (7) Good night (1986) Bad night (652)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed

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  (610): i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed http://tfl.nu/7f8u
  Replies (11) Good night (763) Bad night (1562)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?

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  (320): How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...? http://tfl.nu/7ruq
  Replies (8) Good night (957) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE

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  (408): MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE http://tfl.nu/oud3
  Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club

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  (727): I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club http://tfl.nu/x5dg
  Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (311)

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