Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
