his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
