Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it. http://tfl.nu/zw8b
  Replies (9) Good night (580) Bad night (2145)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/wl2h
  Replies (12) Good night (1689) Bad night (3585)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You did not just play the dead husband card again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): You did not just play the dead husband card again. http://tfl.nu/xl50
  Replies (20) Good night (1160) Bad night (5456)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter. http://tfl.nu/71jn
  Replies (7) Good night (5260) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve http://tfl.nu/02r5
  Replies (12) Good night (3828) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving. http://tfl.nu/oull
  Replies (26) Good night (7909) Bad night (2070)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink." http://tfl.nu/8gq0
  Replies (25) Good night (3682) Bad night (6291)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility http://tfl.nu/vdpc
  Replies (8) Good night (3590) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Marry him. Now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight. (1-570): Marry him. Now. http://tfl.nu/5wky
  Replies (13) Good night (4029) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now http://tfl.nu/v305
  Replies (5) Good night (2053) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe http://tfl.nu/uw0b
  Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy. (703): OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/zfcv
  Replies (1) Good night (2065) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Why do you need me to cover for work?

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Why do you need me to cover for work? (608): I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen. http://tfl.nu/izqg
  Replies (8) Good night (1168) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate. http://tfl.nu/x46r
  Replies (10) Good night (471) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes. http://tfl.nu/ggf3
  Replies (1) Good night (229) Bad night (518)

Randomize