ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck