Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.

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  (248): I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness. http://tfl.nu/dved
  Replies (3) Good night (1322) Bad night (747)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street

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  (253): um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street http://tfl.nu/ikjt
  Replies (24) Good night (603) Bad night (3397)
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  (661): View more from California

  Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"

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  (661): Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std" http://tfl.nu/vth3
  Replies (29) Good night (3092) Bad night (1212)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.

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  (850): From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you. http://tfl.nu/tn1i
  Replies (10) Good night (917) Bad night (4933)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave

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  (413): before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave http://tfl.nu/loh3
  Replies (26) Good night (8107) Bad night (625)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes

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  (479): I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes http://tfl.nu/u839
  Replies (25) Good night (4110) Bad night (1191)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night

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  (608): I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night http://tfl.nu/nzfl
  Replies (23) Good night (6111) Bad night (1047)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.

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  (416): Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender. http://tfl.nu/ts7y
  Replies (8) Good night (1134) Bad night (3917)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid

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  (203): i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid http://tfl.nu/ekmu
  Replies (4) Good night (1440) Bad night (780)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  ... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.

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  (419): ... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette. http://tfl.nu/oqik
  Replies (15) Good night (3120) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar

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  (702): As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar http://tfl.nu/w8o7
  Replies (10) Good night (2803) Bad night (575)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.

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  (519): currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy. http://tfl.nu/g3do
  Replies (4) Good night (572) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"

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  (609): You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?" http://tfl.nu/1kzs
  Replies (9) Good night (2501) Bad night (490)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.

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  (412): we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon. http://tfl.nu/xou6
  Replies (6) Good night (290) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.

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  (252): You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/kiqx
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (128)

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